Let's see here ... yep, just as I suspected. Last week was really fucked up. Every week, Bad News explains just how much worse off we are now.
Past Bad News Entries
Just Be Thankful You’re Not A (Noun)
The UFO Was More of a Metaphor
This Immortality Is out of Your Price Range
When It Rains, It Pours
Too Much of a Bad Thing
This Too Shall Come Too Late
I Can Cry If I Want To
I Think You Know What the Problem Is Just as Well as I Do
The Key to the Abyss Is Turning
Bad News by Hanna Hurr
Thank You Autocorrect, Zombie Houses, and the Cartography of Violence
Good evening, hope everyone had a chill weekend.
Azealia Banks finally released some new material after breaking with her former label. I’d say let’s give her some time, she’ll come back even stronger.
Somebody plotted out every terrorist attack since 1970 and the result is the world map. If this doesn’t prove that violence is as natural as whatever else we call natural, I don’t know what will.
Yelp released a tool that lets you visualize the trend of certain words in reviews over time and across location. Like Chicken and Waffles in San Francisco, or Cronuts in New York.
“Damn You Autocorrect!” We hate on autocorrect a lot, but God bless it when it fixes all the mistakes our clumsy fingers inevitably produce on those slick little touchscreens. The Wired published an endearing essay about the history of autocorrect which will make you appreciate it a little more.
A first teaser trailer for The Hunger Games — The Mockingjay Part I has been released. You’ll have to wait till November 21st to see it in the theaters.
Now here’s some breaking news. Biochemists in the UK found that fist bumps are ten times less germy than normal handshakes.
Whitworth and a colleague systematically tested the three greetings for a study published Monday in the American Journal of Infection Control. Result: The shakes transmitted about 10 times more bacteria than the fist bumps and about two times more than the high fives. The longest, firmest shakes transmitted the most.
I doubt we shake hands because people previously thought that this was the least germy way to greet somebody. But cool, I’m glad this no-brainer of a debate has finally been settled.
Rupert Murdoch continues on his quest to own every media company and merge it into one mega conglomerate. This time he has his eyes on Time Warner.
New York state currently has at least 50,000 so-called ‘zombie houses’ — abandoned houses forgotten by banks or whose post-recession ownership is unclear. So when the zombie apocalypse never happens we’ll have lots of options.
Check out this video of 80 people shutting down a tar sands mine or whatever.
Out with the thin eyebrows, in with ... eyebrow extensions?
If you hoped to invest in Coinye, the cryptocurrency featuring a cartoon of Kanye on its coin, we have some unfortunate news. Kanye won the lawsuit against it so Coinye is now dead.
Whatever people used to think of the U.S. — it being the wealthiest country on earth, a place to “make it”, and so on — it is definitely changing. The National Geographic published a photo essay depicting “The New Face of Hunger” in the U.S. and the fact that one-sixth don’t have enough food to eat.
Surprise, surprise: Twitter’s employees are mostly white men. In the tech department, that’s true for 90 percent of the employees.
Google is embarking on it’s most ambitious Big Data project yet called “Baseline Study”.
The project will collect anonymous genetic and molecular information from 175 people—and later thousands more—to create what the company hopes will be the fullest picture of what a healthy human being should be. [...] The hope is that this will help researchers detect killers such as heart disease and cancer far earlier, pushing medicine more toward prevention rather than the treatment of illness.
So, in addition to the data Google already has on you (search history, contacts, interests, habits, conversations, etc.) it will also collect information on the structure of your body down to a molecular level. They know what you’re thinking — “But what if this data gets in the wrong hands!?!” — because Google has assured us that the information will only be used for medical and health purposes and won’t be shared with insurance companies. Assuring. Let’s be real, we can be concerned with our privacy but that won’t change a thing. This is the new weather.
Perhaps Google can figure out how to prevent things like “the worst Ebola outbreak in history”, which has killed over 660 people across West Africa. Ebola sounds super scary — the deadly virus kills your white blood cells, and you start having diarrhea, internal and external bleeding, and vomiting. There is also no known cure for it.
In less dire news, Tyler Reinhard will return to Tabs duty tomorrow!