• The Etiquette Issue
    The Etiquette Issue
    Horoscopes 3

    Everything you need to know about the Earth opening up and swallowing your planets or the other way around.

    Corinadross

    Corina Dross is an artist, astrologer, and rabble-rouser best known for her illustrated card deck, Portable Fortitude. Based out of Philadelphia for the last ten years, she’s currently splitting her time between the East Coast and the Northwest.

    Horoscopes web

    Photograph by Mask

    Horoscopes

    May 2014

    Did y’all feel that thing that happened in the last half of April? That queasy feeling of building pressure, that unexpected outburst? The sense that something big and dark was maybe about to erupt? Oh, that was just the grand cardinal cross, sandwiched between the spring eclipses. No big deal.

    We get to breathe more freely this month as the grand cross eases off, but there are more fireworks on the way. By mid-month, Venus, planet of how we get what we want (and who we want), will brush up against Uranus – harbinger of explosions and defenestrations, and patron planet of anarchists, astrologers, and queers. All this in Aries, the impulsive, enterprising sign of “while y’all were talking I just went and took what I wanted.” And as we all remember, Uranus is still locked in an epic arm-wrestling match with Pluto – the planet of entrenched power who heralds either trauma or recovery (which don’t always look that different). Venus is about to get implicated in all that. So we’re seeing themes of dramatic, unexpected transformations in how we handle love and desire – especially in those hidden cracks in our relationships, formed by resentments and fears.

    In honor of this transit (and because I’m teaching a class on the astrology of relationships and sexuality), this month’s horoscopes will be taking a closer look at our intimacies, sexual and otherwise. As always, bear in mind that horoscopes are a different beast than a personalized chart reading and behave more like weather reports than psychic messages channeled just for you. If you know your rising sign, read that first, and then your sun and moon signs. Take what you need, cut the rest into tiny ribbons and rearrange them till they’re of some use.

    “I want to be with those who know secret things or else alone.”

    Rainier Mara Rilke

    Aries

    Some of you may have thought long and hard about your gender, probing at it and carefully crafting it into something that feels more or less right, while others have never given it a second thought. Wherever your internal compass is currently set on the male/female, butch/femme merry-go-round, this month will set that needle spinning wildly. With Venus conjunct Uranus in your sign, you’ll definitely be calling in some wild, femme fierceness – think of the vengeful goddess Eris, who started a war with a casual apple toss, or of Divine in Pink Flamingos, her pointed bra and arched eyebrows at least as threatening as her gun. Bringing this energy home, is there something festering in one of your relationships that you both want and don’t want to explode? Can you approach this conflict with a little less force and a lot more style?

    Taurus

    There are moments when we seem to see our lives from above, when time stretches out in vast, eddying tides, and we recognize the larger shape of our lives. This is your gift right now, even if you can’t see it yet. Perhaps in your dreams, or in the expansion of your lungs, you can feel how much bigger you’ve become. These moments are critical times when minor adjustments ripple out into major events – like an artist stepping back from a blurry canvas to guide the shaping of a vast cityscape. Pay close attention to how small acts – repeated irregularly, circling around each other – can foster the relationships that will sustain you for years to come, blossoming in unexpected ways.

    Gemini

    Let’s not mince words: you’re in a time of retreat and rest from everything except the powerful urgings of your sex drive. It’s okay, you know what dance parties aren’t worth going to by now. Focus on what’s actually fueling your engine. But if you’re anything like most of us, there are some thornier areas to navigate before arriving at that blissful pastoral scene where nymphs and satyrs disport themselves in scandalous tableaux. There are two sources you’ll need to tap into to heal the darker areas of your sexual pysche: 1. your own dreams and fantasies, and 2. the dreams of liberation you share with your larger world.

    Cancer

    In the tug-of-war between furtive and flagrant, which side do you choose? In April we saw all the heaviest planets aiming their sights at you, and you may still be feeling the need to either hide from or defy the powers that be: burrow or rage, burrow or rage… In your intimacies, this could translate to some seriously mixed messages. What exactly is it that you’re trying to keep so safe and secret? And what are you hurling out the window while making rude gestures? Are they the same thing? Take a moment to back down from both the offensive and the defensive till you sort this mess out.

    Leo

    It was true last month and it’s true now: don’t stay at home. You are needed in distant lands. Your erotic energy electrifies whatever you’re doing creatively right now, which isn’t to say you should channel some Jim Morrison-like charismatic-rock-star/stoner-poet energy, but only because I think you’re a better poet. Passion is your keyword this month, and you can channel that into anything (as the other constraints of your life allow), but I’d recommend musical collaborations, long trips, and sex-as-mysticism.

    Virgo

    At your worst you pick at the people you love, as though their deepest struggles were no more weighty than a piece of lint, easily brushed off. Practiced in self-transformation and self-improvement, you expect as much from the company you keep (though to be honest, many of your intimacies have started as projects). This month you’ll be startled to notice how many rough and surprising plants have grown in your own garden – with spiky, twisting stalks and an effervescence of stamens and pollen – and how you’re actually okay with that. Your homework is to develop your appreciation for everything besmirched and broken, unredeemed, unsolved, and recalcitrant – and then to extend that to those you love.

    Libra

    Oh, Libra. For months now you’ve had Mars squatting your sign like an oogle (with a few months yet to go), and now your own sign ruler, Venus, is getting wild with Uranus, god of chaos. What would Martha Stewart do? I’m seeing bedazzled chaps, with the rhinestones spilling out in a profligate waterfall down the legs and onto the carpet, the drapes, the polished floor. To put it delicately, this is not the time to play it safe. I know you know how to bake the perfect cake, but now’s the time to take risks, get messy, and let the baking soda and vinegar mix into a volcano even if it spoils dessert (and your dress).

    Scorpio

    Some people make love by pretending they don’t know what their bodies are doing. This will never work for you, Scorpio, and if you’re playing this game it’s time to stop. Of all the signs, you are most aware of those shifting, hidden things other people consider secret. Pretending you don’t know what you do know is bad for your intelligence and your integrity. If you’re already on this tip, now is the time to introduce someone you love to the art of keeping their eyes open, learning how much hotter it is not to look away.

    Sagittarius

    More restless than an island of wild ponies, you would gallop into the ocean if you could. Nothing is real enough, bright enough, new enough, or strange enough for you right now. Old relationships may not satisfy anymore, if they’re not speeding along into some unexplored, technicolor vistas. If you’re looking for a new lover, then do it for real – search the whole world, knock out the border patrols, make yourself dangerous in your pursuit. If not, you’d best find a corner of the world to spill out this yearning intensity so it doesn’t gum up the works of whatever machinery you need to run smoothly. Because those machineries, however you may deplore them, can’t be abandoned yet.

    Capricorn

    There’s a crew of old women in Russia, tough elders in babushkas with hand axes, who have gone back to Chernobyl to live amongst the radioactive wolves and boars and die there. In a cold country, at the site of tremendous toxic disaster, at the end of their lives, they’re happily butchering wild meat and drinking vodka with one another. This is the kind of relationship you’re trying to foster this month – a sense of family that forms in a place that is at once home and deeply foreign. Space for self-reliance and closeness. Laughter in the face of death. What’s blocking you from finding this?

    Aquarius

    You’re famous for intellectualizing your love affairs, bringing theory into the bedroom and engineering technology that can express your love in four-part robotic harmony while you busy yourself amongst your books. This month you may be surprised by a new feeling of immediacy – a physical, almost guttural urgency – which may arise towards your beloved, or humanity in general. However it manifests, you are standing closer to the flame than you have in a long time. Don’t abstract it yet. Watch what happens in your body. Hold still with it, just a moment longer.

    Pisces

    If you move in certain scenes you’ve seen a poster proclaiming “Consent is Sexy.” Whether you found it inspiring or overly simplified, this month you get to explore consent in its various, dizzying guises. Pay attention to the power and pleasure that arise through limiting what you will accept. Though you may feel tough enough for all the world’s onslaughts, imagine your body and energy are intensely important and quite fragile – that you would fight to the death to defend them. Test it out on a micro level (using the minimum force required for each interaction, please). What happens when you refuse to be touched by anyone without permission, even your acupuncturist or yoga teacher? When friends learn they must ask before unburdening their emotional turmoil on you? When sex begins to resemble a slow ascent, like the 1,500 steps of Machu Picchu – each step a conscious choice?

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