Everything you need to know about the Earth opening up and swallowing your planets or the other way around.
Horoscopes by Corina Dross
Despite the evidence of our senses, time doesn’t move cleanly like an arrow, carrying us along toward the inexorable. Ancients spoke of long calendars, cycles of hundreds of thousands of years that would apparently repeat in slow rhythms, slower than sludgy stoner rock. ¶ Western philosophers have posited the idea of the eternal return – that every moment is doomed to repeat, infinitely, in its exact specificity. Even quantum physicists now speak of time as something that doesn’t fundamentally exist.
This month, the astral weather reminds us that if time is a river it is brackish with tide pools. With several planets stationing and retrograding, we’re collectively slowed and suspended, like a dream where we try to run and nothing happens, or where situations repeat until we find the code to crack them. Mercury has progressed forward, but both Mars and Saturn turn retrograde this month (Mars till May 20th, Saturn till July 20th). Add that to the pile-up of planets in Pisces and we’re seeing a sludgy, hazy, psychedelic month. For those of you who would love nothing better than to smoke a bowl and headbang in slow motion, this is your time to shine. For the rest of us, strategies below.
As always, bear in mind that horoscopes are a wide-angle lens on energies affecting us all and are far less accurate than a personalized reading. For a more complete picture, the astro-literate can read their rising signs first, then their Sun and Moon signs.
“Now he has departed from this strange world a little ahead of me. That means nothing. People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.”
Have you had dreams where you try to scream and no sound comes out? Where some specter is gaining ground, and the doors you lock behind you burst open easily? There are moments in our lives when our potential energy feels thwarted by a storyline that keeps us reacting, and reacting ineffectually. Luckily, you’ll be able to break the spell this month. The last week of March in particular, you’ll have an opportunity to harness your real power and consciously direct it where you choose. Choose well!
The dilemma you face this month is that you are actually capable of more than you have been – there is a groundswell of collective energy pushing you forward – but you’re steering this beast through a thick fog. With all your momentum, you could end up far off course; when working with a group, make sure to move at a pace that accommodates frequent reality checks, like pulling over to ask directions or borrow a map. But once you have a map, remember you can add to it so it shows not only the roads you’re on but the ones you’re creating.
Your nightmare this month, Gemini, is the one where you’re hustled onto stage for a school play in some embarrassing state of unreadiness. You may have forgotten your lines, or your clothes, or both. You can’t avoid the spotlight but you do have some options. Your homework is to forget about finishing your homework. Instead, work on your improvisational skills. Convince us that your nudist, interpretative dance performance of The Crucible is better than the original.
We’ve been taught that escapist hedonism isn’t a solution; that we have to square our shoulders and face reality like so many men in business suits with clean-shaven jaws and stunted emotional worlds. Whether or not you’ve bought into this myth, this month you have cosmic permission to indulge yourself, deeply. Your erotic tastes may run a little towards the edge right now, and your fantasies may range farther than merely erotic. Surrealist, utopian, epic, oceanic, perverse: it’s all good. As long as you’re not hurting anyone, feel free to push that shit as far as it can go.
Like Cancer, you’re also caught in a time of intense erotic possibility. What’s at stake for you is a little different: while you may be dreaming of the pleasures of complete surrender (your own or another’s), another piece of you is insisting on remaining detached and analytical. Perhaps your partner is disrupting the flow of your role play by introducing new ideas mid-scene? Or maybe you interrupt yourself with flashes of mathematical insight while about to succumb to orgasm? You’re caught between two energies that are individually exciting but don’t go great together. Find a way to move between them without too many false starts.
Usually so good with your to-do lists, this month not only are you forgetting something, you’re losing the lists that tell you what you’re forgetting. Mercury retrograde has ended for the rest of us, but you’re still misplacing your phone, getting your days confused, and chasing the dragon’s tail of menial tasks that must be done in a certain order, like a forlorn bureaucrat from a Kafka story. Whipped around on that infinitely long leash of details, it’s time to give up. Take some time off to lie on the cold ground and watch the clouds race across the moon, or if you must be practical about it, sit indoors by a hot stove, lean your head against the windowpane, and then surrender.
Psychologists blame a fair amount of stress on a state they call cognitive dissonance. A fancy term for the simple act of holding two contradictory beliefs, or behaving in a way that is against our beliefs, most of us experience cognitive dissonance daily as we make compromising decisions in a dehumanizing world. You may be feeling unusually high magnitudes of this dissonance right now, but it won’t do any good to try to reach a state of purity or single-pointedness. Instead, lean into it and play against the rules. You are granted a backwards day that will last the whole month.
You’ve been slogging through your days, putting in time, doing what needs done and sleeping through your time off. Maybe as the snow melts you’re beginning to perk up a little? Maybe not? Either way, it’s time to climb down from that cross and make yourself a cup of tea. But don’t get stuck in the coziness of home – this is a great month to meet someone new. I know that transition is hard – your only good outfit is dirty, you don’t remember how to flirt, you’re a knot of philosophical pain and intensity, but you got this, I swear. Just keep it chill and low-pressure.
A well known novelist begins a tedious and overwrought book with a meditation on heaviness and lightness. If cycling and returning back is what gives our lives both heaviness and meaning (think of a long illness with periods of remission, or a long, abusive relationship with periods of joy) – then is lightness a state removed from meaning? There are hundreds of ways to twist these ideas about, but this month be advised that neither the heaviness nor the lightness is a trap. You are not trapped by your ties to the past, to the difficult and the incomplete, nor are you trapped by your urge to run away and start fresh. Think of yourself as a needle, pulling a thread behind you that may get caught in fabric but can be snipped and retied and snipped again. You are always the needle, never the thread.
Maybe you don’t remember your dreams, or if you do they bore you. Maybe you’re secretly afraid this makes you boring? If you’re under this impression, you may not yet appreciate how the routine and the tedious open up a space for manifesting genius. Several famous authors are known for their commitment to mind-numbing boredom in their daily lives, so as to funnel all their creativity into their work. Whether or not this is your tactic, now is the time to pay closer attention to the seemingly mundane details around you. See past appearances: Maybe your bus stop is a fucking time machine. What happens when you press that button under the bench?
Maybe you’ve been lucky enough to have those dreams that Freud would call pure wish fulfillment: You’re hosting a fashionable party where your most brilliant friends have gathered, and a small crowd of admirers is hanging on your every word as you tell that long joke about the periodic table. This month, you can turn these dreams into reality. Your mojo is working, your wit is sparkling, and you just have to put in the effort to recognize the signals of someone making it painfully obvious that they wouldn’t at all object to continuing this conversation without clothes.
With so much going on in Pisces right now, your sensitive ears might be ringing like an alarm clock far, far, far across the room on a cold morning. This is an important month for you, and it ushers in a year when your creative powers are at their height. Don’t coast on charm – reread the tougher Russian novelists and experimental poets, immerse yourself in atonal music – whatever it takes to tune your mind into a higher circuit. Most importantly, it’s a time when the boundaries of your identity are not only malleable, but subject to your conscious control. If it is possible, as some think, to create political change through a shift in consciousness, you’re the one to test that theory. As a dear friend once wrote: Now that we aren’t commodities, what are we going to be?