• The Hustle Issue
    March 2015 #14
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    • On the cover: Quaco, Mary S., Abby, GENG, STUD1NT, Ciarra Black.

    • blood money The clinical trials industry is rebranding and this is bad news for those relying on these studies for money. Read more.

    • not just for losers Let Dan Allegretto teach how to use the underappreciated app Swarm the proper way.

    • looking fly Catch up with our Tumblr for daily style inspiration.

    • Subscribe help us pay writers and support mask magazine with a subscription! from $2/month.

    Table Of Contents


    Ciarra Black gives some choice advice to her 13-year-old self.

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    Bad News by Tyler Reinhard

    There Are No Cheat Codes

    What’s the word for when 1000s of dead animals wash up on the beach? A woman (hero) was arrested for squirting her breast milk at a cop. Drones rule everything around me. Surprise, Monsanto makes poison!

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    From shoplifting to retail store cons to flipping weed, anonymous chronicles the petty crimes through which she has sustained herself over the years.

    Life of Petty Crime

    by – Anonymous

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    Three Long Island teens arrested for allegedly counterfeiting $20 bills to pay for class pizza party and cereal.


    Geng Gushes about New York’s Best Grub, and why he hates the new fast food trends.


    What is it like to make money as a webcam model? Anonymous answers frequently asked questions about the ins and outs of video chatting for a living.

    Who’s Watching?

    by – Anonymous

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    Stud1nt Schools Us on What’s Missing from Culture: girl-on-girl parties, sexy music, and more.

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    Bad News by Tyler Reinhard

    No News is Good News, the Superpost

    Google invests in infinite lives. Moon minerals: first come, first serve. Kim Jong-un goes to Russia. #RaceTogether probably not the best idea. Adult pre-school is a little pricey. Italian fascist semen stain ready to be cloned!

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    DJ Abby places bets on the next look. Hint: alien versus predator.

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    Small Plates by Olivia Starkie

    Food to Usher in Spring

    There is something incredibly beautiful to me about the elevated trains in New York, slash, my favorite spring time recipes: Roasted Yams, Chard with Golden Raisins, Tahini Dressing, and Basic Ass Pesto.

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    Abdu Ali

    Starbucks’ Race Together campaign under fire from everybody with a smartphone.


    What does it mean to be devoted to disorder? How does obsession differ from love? Alex MF Quicho traces the relationship between OCD, devotion, love, trauma, and imagining new worlds beyond the chaos of this one.

    Devoted to Disorder

    by Alex MF Quicho

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    Celebrate St. Patrick's Day with these vintage photos of women IRA fighters.

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    The Affect Matrix for youth internet culture Placing your problematic faves next to your underground heart throbs we bring you our greatest party trick.

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    I was 32 and had been smoking regularly for half my life. After a while it became evident that it was smothering me in a sense, but I didn’t know if I could stop. It took a kind of demonic possession to make me realize that I had to take my substance abuse seriously and change my habits.

    Scabies Helped Me Quit Weed

    by – Anonymous

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    Bad News by Tyler Reinhard

    Wow, You Look Really Tired!

    Everest is a pile of shit. Are there 90k doctors in the house? Police apparently racist. Panhandlers paid to be art. American death laser now real, in case you were thinking about trying to escape.

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    Cameos March contributors Leigh Barton, Jade Marks, and Mikael Brunila on current looks, future internet trends, problematic faves, and cravings.

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    Make It Quick: Four Inspiring Beauty Routines by DJ/producer Coral Foxworth, model Lee Armoogam, artist/rapper Kitty, and rapper Jay Boogie.

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    The Clinical Trials Industry is rebranding, attracting new demographics of test participants, and making it harder for long-term test subjects. Anonymous describes what it's like to partake in clinical trials through these transitions.

    Blood Money

    by – Anonymous

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    Dan Knows Best by Dan Allegretto

    Swarm: Not Just for Losers

    Let Dan Allegretto teach you how to use this unappreciated app in the proper way.


    STUD1NT drops exclusive mix, “Eavesdrop” to get you pumped for our LRAD party this Saturday.


    New Music Video by DonChristian: “Liu Kang” is drenched with legendary intertext.

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    Nashville-based witch grunge band Daddy Issues pays homage to sad-girl culture.

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    Horoscopes by Corina Dross

    March 2015

    This month marks the final bout in the three-year battle between Uranus (golden boy of revolutionaries and chaos agents) and Pluto (underworld magistrate and patron saint of you-can’t-take-it-with-you).

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    Letters by Hanna Hurr

    How We Get By

    This month, we explore the strange ways we pay our bills and get by in this dumb, dumb world, and some remarkable stories of scamming.

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