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    April 2014

    Before the main attraction, a brief word about fear. 

    April is an astrologically eventful month that has many freaking the fuck out. We’ll see a tightening up of the tense aspect between Pluto (entrenched power, mortality) and Uranus (revolution, queerness, sudden upheaval) as several more planets step up to battle, forming what astrologers call a Grand Cross for most of April – the energetic equivalent to a massive cold front hitting a massive hot front, or a row of riot cops facing a mass of people who aren’t afraid anymore. It’s a time of sustained tension, when any stray spark could cause an explosion. The eclipses happening on April 15th and 29th increase the likelihood of something buried and big getting set off. 

    Here’s what we need to remember during this potentially dramatic time:

    1. Those who fear change are those with the most to lose. Sure, our homes might get flooded in a storm, but more importantly the prison walls may collapse. The ground they stood on might become a river, unfit to chain anyone to ever again. 
    2. We always have agency. An astrological storm doesn’t hit from above, it comes through us, intensifying our inner conflicts, longings, and impatience for change. We can always choose how to act and respond. 
    3. What we can’t afford to lose is each other. Keep an eye out for the vulnerable. Know how to work with your own darkness so as to do the least damage to your loved ones. 
    4. Finally, this Grand Cross could be a sleeper, planting the seeds for change that will ripen over the next several years. So … play nice out there, kids! Don’t usher in the fiery death of anything you might need later!

    As always, these horoscopes are merely a brief overview of universal energies at play right now and are no substitute for an in-depth chart reading. The astro-literate should read their rising signs first, then Sun and Moon. 

    “There is only one time that is important – now! It is the most important time because it is the only time when we have any power.”



    Whatever you do this month, don’t let it be the same as last month. Imagine someone has jumped out of a time machine, grabbed your arm and yelled, “Get in, quick! Are we headed to the past or the future?” – but for once in your life you hesitate, and in your indecision risk missing out on the ride of your life. Just because your own desires and sense of direction might be muddled at the moment doesn’t mean you get to stand still. Not everyone gets approached by frantic time travelers – you gotta get on that. 


    In the movie version of this month you’re braving the wind of an epic storm, slogging knee-deep through the floods with axe in hand, determined to cut away the sodden and splintery walls of the house trapping your true love in the rising water. In the dream version, you feel you must save all those you love, and they’re scattered far and wide, beyond your ability to help with axe-brandishing rescue skills. In real life, remember how we’re all saving each other in countless ways, in hidden moments, over vast distances. 


    If there was ever a month for you to be an oracle, this is it. The ancient sibyls would sit over caverns from which emanated gases from deep in the earth, speaking strange prophecies, or as Heraclitus put it, “with frenzied mouth uttering things not to be laughed at, unadorned and unperfumed.” These women usually had male priests interpreting their strange pronouncements. You don’t need the cavern or the priest – your magic is yours alone, and comes through your own damn voice. Find your people and start unraveling the mysteries.


    There is no going gentle into that good night for you this month. If you’re going out, you’re gonna go big. Wherever it is you need to take your stand – and there could be a few fronts – this is your moment for glorious action. Most of us are afraid of how powerful we actually are, how much space we could actually take. We could compare you this month to a giant star, whose radiation falters as you burn hot enough to fuse not only hydrogen and helium but your vast stockpiles of carbon, silicon, and even iron – imploding at last into a creature that can warp time and space. Whether this seems exciting or terrifying, you can no longer hide your power. 


    This is no time to stay indoors. Your bedroom is your worst enemy this month; your senses are alive to the instructions of the springtime and both memory and desire are being stirred in ways prudish old poets might consider cruel. Other people’s bedrooms are fair game, but to be safe, plan your trysts in a convenient pastoral setting, or hidden in an odd cemetery or wooded cruising grounds of the heaving city. Whatever pleasures you pursue, you have one assignment: let yourself see the possible worlds each choice opens up. 


    This is the time to practice being the calm oasis in the center of the storm. The fears and desires of the multitude could plaster themselves to you like the weathered pages of old news on a blustery day near the recycling plant, but you’ll be able to stay clear if you can remember two things: Don’t hold on to your external identity too tightly. Don’t let yourself be hollow. Keep filling yourself with what you love most, defiantly if need be, and don’t try to explain or justify your choices. 


    If Virgo is the eye of the storm this month, you, my love, are its spinning vortex, complete with diesel trucks and cows rising dizzily up into the sky. You may not identify as a storm, but have you noticed that regular life seems oddly sped up or slowed down, while you feel an unfamiliar urge to consume, to ravage, and to destroy whatever obstacles you encounter? Being a gentle soul at heart, you might be the first major weather event in history to wreak cooperative, graceful havoc on your environment. Do keep checking in with your friends and neighbors about what house to shatter, what fence to uproot, and where to drop the unsightly civic monument that’s been a public eyesore for decades. 


    Have you ever lived with someone dangerously passive-aggressive? Where you could run a finger along the mantlepiece and feel the sticky residue of their condensed, seething rage? You may have to navigate around someone like that this month, so take care that you wear gloves and shower regularly. On the plus side, something impossibly dreamy also awaits you this month – it could be unicorn, a uniquely compatible new lover, a clear channel of artistic inspiration, or some unholy combination of the three. 


    You may be tempted to quit all your dysfunctional collectives this month and take root on some piece of land with a friend and lover or two and maybe some chickens and a well-behaved dog, because fuck the world, and besides, communization. I totally get that impulse. It’s a good dream to have, but it’s usually better as a dream. Especially for you, Sagittarius – you are not now nor will you ever be a tree. You need the crazy bullshit of other people to keep you interested. Stay in the game. 


    Like Cancer and Libra, this is a month where you can’t escape strong pressures from within. As good as you are at controlling your fate, much for you depends on where you’re positioned. Imagine a towering wave is rolling towards the shore, almost blotting out the sun. You might be on the beach napping, or in the water being pulled under, or on a surfboard riding the crest – you can’t control these details, but you can stop on a dime and change course when you need to. When the stress of summoning up this agility gets to you, remember your mantra for this month: You are not in this alone. 


    Years of inquiry and analysis have led you to the conclusion that our only hope is the death of rationalism. But where is the logical place to begin? Ever suspicious of sentimentality or crude impulses, you’ve stranded yourself on a rock of reason that you are now determined to abandon, as long as you can plan a reasonable way to do so. Take a moment to appreciate the shiny, crisp paradoxes you’ve built for yourself. They might be able to float. 


    Do you remember the first time you fell in love – how even in the golden beauty of those days the shadows held a darker, more menacing edge? Probing that darkness, you realized for the first time you were capable of great loss, more loss than you could have imagined – which proved true during your first heartbreak. This month all those feelings might return, just as sharply as years ago. But as your ghosts come back, they’ll be bringing the pieces of yourself that got trapped somewhere along the way. Set aside a time, a place, a practice to welcome these travelers and their uncomfortable gifts. You’ll need all these lost and scattered pieces to light the way to new connections.

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